Cuban 2028 Campaign Slogan Leaked: “Shut Up and Take My Money”

 In a transfer that surprised definitely nobody and however baffled everyone at the same time frame, billionaire entrepreneur and Texas Mavericks owner Mark Cuban technically released his candidacy for Leader of the United States in 2028. Ranking at a podium that doubled as a Shark Tank stage, Cuban stated the National persons “a government that actually understands how to make a profit.” According to his plan team, Cuban's presidential work is not just about fixing the economy but in addition about introducing premium subscription options for citizenship. “Free America Basic” can contain voting rights and use of national areas, while “America Plus” presents faster DMV appointments and ad-free presidential speeches.

Cuban's first strategy assurance is always to wipe out the national debt by leveraging the energy of truth TV. “Why should Americans suffer once we may only televise Congress preventing over costs and demand Netflix $2 thousand for the rights?” he explained to roaring applause. He further described that every piece of legislation below his presidency could demand a Shark Tank–style pitch, filled with extraordinary audio and a cell of celebrity judges. If a statement can't persuade Mark herself, Kevin O'Leary, and one randomly opted for Instagram influencer, it just won't pass. “It's democracy,” Cuban claimed, “but entertaining.”

As part of his international policy platform, Cuban assured to restore standard diplomacy with aggressive NBA matchups. “Why spend taxpayer pounds on boring summits whenever we can only negotiate international disputes on the basketball court?” he argued. According to published campaign memos, NATO allies would get courtside chairs, while competitor nations could be required to sit in the nosebleed part with costly nachos. Cuban reassured voters that his Mavericks could “definitely beat inflation, China, and probably also the Lakers” during his first term.

Critics have elevated considerations about Cuban's insufficient political knowledge, but his strategy has blown those off by pointing to his knowledge in screaming at referees and talking billion-dollar discounts on live television. “If I will talk some body down from $5 million to $500,000 for 20% equity, I can absolutely negotiate with Congress,” Cuban boasted. He also offered to replace the IRS with a more “customer-friendly” department called “America Support Services,” wherever citizens may make cashback benefits and loyalty points with every filing.

Meanwhile, Cuban's selection of working mate has turned into a topic of national speculation. Rumors recommend he might select Elon Musk, citing “revolutionary turmoil energy,” or perhaps Mr. Amazing from Shark Reservoir for “balance and unfiltered insults.” The others suppose that Cuban may possibly simply maintain a nationwide lottery where in fact the winner becomes Vice President for four decades, because, together campaign staffer said, “Genuinely, could it be worse than what we have currently observed?” Cuban herself hasn't confirmed, but he's assured that the ultimate decision is likely to be exposed in a stay Pay-Per-View Cuban 2028.

Inspite of the doubt, Cuban's campaign rallies have drawn massive crowds, primarily curious people dreaming about free Mavericks merchandise or at the very least a selfie with a billionaire. His campaign mantra, “Shut Up and Take My Vote,” has already been plastered across hats, t-shirts, and even limited-edition NFTs. Whether or not Cuban can protected the presidency stays to be seen, but one thing is particular: the 2028 election will undoubtedly be less about plan and more about prime-time entertainment. As Cuban herself put it, “Politics is broken—but at least I could monetize it.”